Scorecard

Billesdon II v Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI on Sat 29 Aug 2009 at 1.30pm
Match was Drawn 8 points

Match report Billesdon II vs Cosby II, Saturday August 29th 2009

The 2nd team met bright and early at the Cosby Oval for their trip to Billesdon in confident mood knowing that they could potentially wrap up promotion if they won and Mountsorrell lost. Moods were further lifted with the presentation of the new pre-match leisure wear. Most people seemed relatively pleased with their new polo shirts although the whining from some members about their assigned squad number got a bit annoying.

The 2s rocked up at the picturesque postage stamp of a Billesdon ground and were faced with a decent looking track and some short boundaries. With Frank away on his holidays the “All the Gear, But No Idea” T-Shirt was once again not presented. Prime contender this week was former Chris Griffin wannabe Billso (Nmber17) as well as his dismal bowling last week he had a pre match puke behind the Billesdon pavilion after the previous nights over indulgence at the Bulls Head and the ropey fry up from the Silver Café in town that morning. This brings Billsos number of grounds been sick on to 3 joining the Cosby Oval (genuinely ill) and Barkby (hangover from hell although Podges cartwheel assault didn’t help)!

Veteran Capatin Paul Wood (Number 73) made a mistake at the toss this week when he inadvertently won one. Woody made the call that the modus operandi (first bit of Latin ever in a Cosby match report, I just get better and better) was the way forward and the C2 Unit were having a bowl. With Big (Number 8) unsure of his shoulder injury it fell to the skipper and Trigger (Number 13) to open up the bowling. Although the breakthrough wasn’t immediate the pair kept thing relatively quiet with Billesdon scoring at just over 3 an over. Wincey eventually picked up the 1st wicket with a fine caught and bowled. The other Billesdon opener was looking in good touch was playing some fine shots off the front foot. Woody was soon able to remove the number 3 with one that kept just a touch low and with Billesdon 50 for 2 after 15 overs the 2s felt like they were in control.

At this point the Billesdon batsmen dug in and set about setting themselves up for batting a long time. Big was brought on at the bottom end to replace Trig after his energy draining 7 over spell and in a move more surprising than Hero (Number 0) coming on first change last week, Dave “Treacle Feet” Needham (Number 3)was introduced to the attack. With the 2 brothers bowling in tandem this was obviously quite an emotional moment for lbw giver in chief Ken (Number 189) and was that a tear we saw in WG’s eye? Although that could have been from when Phil threw the ball in and it whacked Ken square on the leg. Despite bowling some decent stuff neither of the Needham boys were able to the breakthrough thanks to at times some near misses and at other times some pretty ordinary fielding (we all know what happened, no need to name names, ahem).

With the score edging towards 100 with 18 overs still remaining Woody turned to Dave Thorpe (Number 6). The move worked pretty much straight away as Gandhi was able to remove the Billesdon opener as he played on for a well made 45 (I’m guessing at their scores as we forgot to copy the scorebook up, see what happens when the brains of the outfit has to bat at the end?). At the other end the Billesdon number 4 was taking a bit of a shine to Phils bowling highlighted when he walloped him into the same back garden twice. Torchwood (Number 25) was brought on for Big and thanks to a wayward first couple of overs the run rate rocketed along for a few overs but Kirbo soon achieved a degree of control when he cut his pace back. It was during this period of play that the games 2 controversial incidents occurred when the non Ken umpire who was a 14 year old from Billesdon that wasn’t even playing turned down a pretty adjacent looking lbw (reason given not out and I quote “I don’t know really”) and the number 4 was given not out when he appeared to clearly glove one behind.

Kirbo picked up a wicket bowling the Billesdon number 5 with a yorker. Kirbs soon picked up his 2nd wicket when the number 6 hit one in between Woody and Treacle Feet and Ned mercifully got Woody out of the way to take the catch.

At 135 for 5 with 10 overs to go the game was in the balance and the Billesdon number 4 went past his 50. At this he started to cut loose even further and had moved into his 60s when he attempted to hit Umar Gul for 6. Kirbo was positioned at long off and ran in for the catch, however he soon realised he had misjudged and the ball now appeared to be going over his head. Kirbs ran back and leapt into the air like a young Pete Sullivan (Number 65) stuck out his right hand and took the most stunning catch this report writer has ever seen by a Cosby cricketer. He rose to the acclaim of the Billesdon crowd and proceeded to show everyone the ball he had just caught, showing off a bit but after a catch that good I suppose you’re allowed to.

Further wickets fell in the final 10 overs with Kirbo picking up another and Umar 2 more (one of them again down to a good catch, this time from Deave Needham) and the C2 unit finished up relatively pleased with their work in the field as Billesdon finished with what appeared a below par 178 for 9.

After a mid match photo shoot and a tea watching Billso get angrier and angrier as his bets didn’t come in (Notts County losing to Barnet, they signed Sol Campbell last week for gods sake) the 2nd XI were fairly confident they could reach their target. Vice (Number 2) and Grice (Number 21) were sent out to open up the C2 Units innings and problems soon arrived when Tavare called Russ through for a single when the ball had gone to the fielder who was quite close at square leg. Cindys baby boy had been sold down the river and was run out by half the length of the pitch. Things were made even worse a few overs later when Grice was trapped for a fairly plum looking lbw for 7 and the 2s were 15 for 2. Henshaw strode off the pitch in a mood that could be best described as Bayliss-esque and the rest of the 2s were worried we would have to hide Steves shoelaces.

Thorpey and Ned were at the crease and the pair appeared to both be in good touch. This was despite Treacle Feet informing us before batting that he was coming down with a migraine and was struggling to see out of his right eye (these Needhams are falling apart) although his vision had apparently been restored with the healing powers of paracetomol by the time he was in bat. The pair had taken the score into the 30s when the blindness obviously overtook Ned again as he played one onto his stumps to be dismissed for 10.

In at number 5 was the leader of the C2 Unit Veteran Captain and Right Said Fred tribute act Paul Wood. With Thorpey again looking in good touch he and Woody set about repairing the Cosby innings and it wasn’t long before things had settled down enough with Woody especially tucking into the Billesdon bowling. The score had been taken upto 89 when Ken struck again. With only next weeks game left against Outwoods before he moves to Canada (he’d better bloody go this time) Ken has got to get all the victims in he can and it would appear that Umar was the latest member of the C2 Unit to get Needhamed when he was given out lbw for 23.

It was around this time that the 2nd teams concerns for Grice and his far from cheerful mood hightened after he had took himself off for a walk we then heard a car backfire twice and we wondered if he’d tried to shoot himself, obviously missing with the first shot. Oddsocks (Number 71) and he continued supporting Woody who was still in quick scoring form with his trademark slaps through the offside. The score moved up to 115 when Woody pushed a shot into the offside and went to his first 50 of the season. However disaster struck the next ball when trying to play one into the leg side the Richard Fairbrass wannabe got a leading edge and was well caught at cover.

The 2s were 5 down and Big came out to the crease at number 7. Early signs looked good as with Curtis playing his usual game to good effect and Big hitting an early boundary a C2 Unit success still looked on the cards. The signs were mis-leading though as Big was soon removed for 7 runs when he was bowled by one that kept a bit low. Usain (Number 123) was in number 8 and the 2s were now in need of his Shepshed style heroics (hitting the winning runs not steamrollering the wicket keeper) but alas this was not to be the day for the best fine leg in the business as he was caught at slip having made just 2.

The 2s were now faced with just batting the overs out and seeing how close they could get. With Trigger in number 9 the 2 were confident he could get them pretty close to the 45 overs batting with Curt. The score went past 133 but the 2s had lost all chance of winning the game and survival was the order of the day. The overs reached 40 when Trig had a drive at a full ball got the edge and was caught behind. Curt was still at the crease and was looking in rock like mode as he played very sensibly and tried to take as much strike as possible. Torchwood went out number 10 with instructions to just bat the overs. Woodys cap was on the floor the next ball however when Kirbo was caught at square leg, but the show of frustration was premature as it was a no-ball and Kirbo had survived. He and Oddsocks continued defying the Billesdon bowlers who belatedly brought on a spinner when Kirbo got called through by Curt for a single only to get hit on the ankle when the fielder threw it in. In obvious discomfort Torchwood carried on.

The pair had taken the 2s to the brink of survival when off the last ball of the 44th over Captain Jack edged one threw slips (all along the floor) and the pair for some reason ran the single to leave the crippled Kirby on strike for the last over. Barely able to move Kirbs played the first 3 balls but was obviously hampered by his lack of mobility, then on the 4th ball the Billesdon spinner bowled one a bit fuller and Kirbo was trapped lbw. This meant there were 2 balls remaining and walking out to the crease was Billso who had face the grand total of 1 ball all season in the league. With instructions from Curt of what to do Billso face the first delivery with a big stride and played the ball comfortably. Billso caused a few hearts to race on the sidelines for the final ball as from his vantage point it was apparent early it wasn’t hitting the stumps so just padded it away. Cue a mock appeal from Billesdon but everyone knew it wasn’t out and the 2s still remain unbeaten.

Result: Losing Draw

Points: Billesdon 15 points, Cosby 8 points

Quote of the Day: At tea assembled 2nd teamers were discussing Bolton manager Gary Megson:
Billso: Everyone hates him, Bolton hate him, Forest hate him, City hate him even West Brom, everyone hates him
Treacle Feet: Who we talking about?
Grice: You thought we were talking about Hursty didn’t you!

During the Cosby innings Woody calls for his cap:
Ken: You’ll recognise it, it’s the one with all the dirt on it!

MOM: A few contenders this week despite the losing draw. Thorpey bowled well to take 4 wickets as did Kirbo who took 3 and also arguably the catch of the season. However for his first half century of the season this weeks MOM goes to the skipper Paul Wood.

Verdict: Despite the disappointing result the 2s weren’t that disappointed with the performance. The bowling and fielding was ok and at one moment spectacular. The 2s should have seen it home with the bat after getting into a good position but a long tail didn’t wag this week. Win next week and we’re champions!



Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 9 wickets
0
149		        
Russell Sullivan Run out  1
Steve Henshaw Lbw  6
Dave Thorpe Lbw  23
David Needham Bowled  10 1
Paul Wood Caught  50
Curtis Holloway Not Out  20
Phil Needham Bowled  7
Richard Fairbrother Caught  2
Michael Whitehead Caught  3
Gary Kirby Lbw  2 1
Matthew Bills Not Out  0

Billesdon II Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Billesdon II Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 9 wickets
0
178 (0.0 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Paul Wood10.0129129.002.90
Michael Whitehead7.0029129.004.14
Phil Needham9.032700.003.00
David Needham4.001700.004.25
Dave Thorpe9.0041410.254.56
Gary Kirby6.0037312.336.17

  • Umpire :
    Ken Needham
  • Scorer :
    Simon Cooper
 
Photos and video of Billesdon II v Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI on Sat 29 Aug 2009 at 1.30pm

Billesdon away

The unit v Billesdon with thanks to Terry Harrison

Leisure Wear

The 2s looking the business in their fetching maroon shirts

Wallop

Thorpey hits one through cover

Straight Bat

TF (sight restored) shows the full face of the bat

Handsome Devil

Vice squeezes into a small helmet.

Glance to leg

Woody appears to play a shot other than the back foot off slap!

Gandhi

Thorpedo with a nice high backlift

Copywrited by Mr Wood

Veteran batting in typical style.

Hide the shoe laces

Henshaw on the phone, "Hello Samaritans"

Cows

Billsos Bovine Buddys