Scorecard

Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI v Loughborough Outwoods II on Sat 05 Sep 2009 at 1pm
Match was Drawn Winning (17 points)

Match report C2 Unit take the title with winning draw against Outwoods

Cosby II vs. Loughborough Outwoods II, Saturday 5th September 2009

The 2nd XI arrived bright and early for their game against lowly Loughborough Outwoods in the knowledge that victory would take them to the title. With the majority of jobs done early most of the pre-match was spent discussing the Devon tour that several members of the C2 Unit had been on (Billsos golfing prowess an area of great entertainment apparently, look out for the tour report coming to this web site soon!).

In the dressing rooms the “All the Gear But No Idea” T-shirt was looming large and someone was going to have to do something pretty special for it not to be presented to Billso for last weeks pre-match puke behind the pavilion at Billesdon. However you can always rely on Frank to provide competition for the shirt and once again he took the shirt with a piece of stupidity that had to be seen to be believed. Frank has had a hell of a run this year what with at one stage or another losing his shoes and socks, putting trousers on the wrong way round, turning on his mums hazard lights and not realising how to turn them off, finding the penny Veteran ran over with the outfield mower and the other week managing to get his bat entwined in his shirt whilst putting on a grip. This week topped all those when he walked into the dressing rooms took a sniff and announced “Someone’s trod in dog sh*t!”, he then proceeded to wipe the bottom of his shoe with his hand only to discover the dog mess in question was on his shoes and now also on his hand. As the laughter grew Frank trudged off to the toilets to get his self cleaned up safe in the knowledge that he had the shirt for yet another week.

Woody went out for the toss and after the previous weeks slip up at Billesdon he was back to his usual self as he lost yet another one. With Treacle Feets lovingly prepared pitch it was a bit of a surprise when the Outwoods skipper decided to bowl especially as they only had 9 men at the start of the game. The 2s started the innings with Cindy’s Baby Boy and The Morecambe Bay Survivor opening and the pair got things going quite nicely as the score was being pushed along at over 4 an over. The pair had moved the score up to 31 when Gok played what looked a near perfect forward defensive, there was only one thing missing and unfortunately it was his off stump as he was bowled for 14. Thorpey was in at 3 and it was at this point the aerobatic displays of the Victory Show began. The first aircraft was quite worrying resembling as it did many of the planes out of 80s cartoon Catch the Pigeon. Many of the assembled patrons down the park were quite concerned for the welfare of Dick Dastardly and Mutley as the plane appeared not to be moving. Fortunately for the 2s vice and Gandhi were not that bothered by the aeroplanes and continued plundering the tiring Outwoods openers. The score had been moved along to 62 when Russ attempting to slap one through mid wicket caught it on the toe of his bat and before he had the chance for a trademark “Oh No” had been caught and bowled for 26.

With the 2s having made a solid start Foxy was the next man in and he and the Thorpedo continued steadily pushing the run rate along with Sicknote in particularly aggressive mood playing some of his patented hockey shots into the leg side. At one point we also saw Mark play a Paul Wood-esque slap through the off-side. At this Woody was on the phone to his legal representatives to see if he had any legal claim to copywriting the back foot off-slap so as to prevent other players using it.

The appearance of the Vulcan on its mock bombing run not only confused the hell out of Frank (see this weeks bumper quotes of the day section) but it also heralded the arrival of the Outwoods spin bowlers. Despite some early success for Thorpey and Foxy the 2 spinners soon settled into a rhythm and were proving difficult to score off. The score had moved past the 100 mark when Umar decided to use his feet against the spinner only to be deceived by the turn and get stumped for 23. The demise of Gandhi brought veteran Richard Fairbrass wannabe Paul Wood to the crease and with it there was a fly past from the Red Arrows. Woody and Glass hands continued nudging the score along steadily as the Outwoods slow bowlers continued to prove tough to score off. The score went past 150 and the 2s realised that it would take a good effort to get past the 200 mark. Foxy eventually fell for 46 with 7 overs remaining and Big went out to join the skipper at the crease. The pair were able to score at a steady 5 an over and a score of around 190 looked on.

There was a semi-controversial incident when Vice standing at square leg umpire gave Woody not out stumped (clearly not thinking about the averages there Russ) much to the annoyance of the Outwoods bowler Bowley. This appeared to fire up Mr Bowley who decided he would now bowl pace at Woody whilst sticking to spin against Big (he didn’t twig he’d probably have been better the other way around). On the sidelines everyone was thinking one good over and we’ll get 200 but the overs kept going by and the big over continued to remain elusive. Then in the 44th and penultimate over Big went a bit crazy and hit 19 off the over and the 2s were all of a sudden on 199. In the final over the score went past 200 before Woody was dismissed by Bowley for 45 with 3 balls to go. Frank went into bat and was nearly straight back as he hit his first ball straight back to the bowler only for the chance to be grounded. Off the final 2 balls Ben was able to score 3 runs meaning the C2 Unit finished their innings on 203 for 5.

The 2s went into tea reasonably happy with their efforts and that with the depth in bowling available they would be able to bowl out Outwoods and claim the coveted Division 7 title. After another excellent Cosby tea the 2s went out into the field believing they would get the job done. Woody called the team together for the pre-fielding chat and then continued to do his usual trick of walking away as the rest of the team walk over to him.

The 2s opened up the bowling with the 2 intellectual heavyweights, Trig from the DOTB End (where has the drunk been these last few weeks by the way, we haven’t seen him in ages?) and Frank steaming in from the Right Said Fred End. The pair started in miserly mood as the 2 Outwoods openers found it difficult to score runs early on. One of them getting particularly annoyed as Ben kept hitting him on the same part of the leg over and over again and it was beginning to hurt a bit. The score was going along at less than 2 an over when Trig struck the first blow in the 9th over when he got one to move away a touch and take the edge and Vice took a fine catch behind the stumps. Both Trig and Wincey continued bowling in good areas but neither picked up further wickets as they came to the end of their marathon spells in accordance with the ECB directives on fast bowlers.

For not the first time in recent weeks Veteran Captain Paul Wood made bowling changes that probably surprised the assembled members who were unable to use the Western Terrace as it was busy with aviation enthusiasts. The spin twins of Oddsocks and Chris Griffin wannabe Billso were both introduced to the attack inside 15 overs (unheard of) and both bowled pretty well in what proved to be short spells. Billso had a very adjacent looking lbw turned down by Ken, who in his last game as umpire decided that he had struck fear into the heart of batsmen for long enough and wouldn’t give even the plum lbw’s this week. Curt managed to pick up a wicket when the Outwoods number 3 attempted to hit him out the ground but only succeeded in finding Big at long off who took the catch.

The introduction of the spin twins had worked as not only had Curt managed to pick up a wicket but the other Outwoods opener was now trying to play a few shots. With the score on 50 for 2 after 20 overs Woody made another double change with Big coming on at the DOTB end and himself at the Ben Spencer end. It would be fair enough to say Woody was not at his best in his first spell (possibly feeling the after effects of a gruelling tour) and early on Big was just plain unlucky as he had the Outwoods opener dropped at slip by Foxy and also by Billso in the deep. Outwoods reached drinks at in the 80s and only 2 wickets down it would appear the 2s had a game on their hands.

Big finally removed the Outwoods opener when he got one to take the edge and Vice took the catch behind the stumps. The dismissal of the opener seemed to flick a switch in the Outwoods number 4 Bowley (remember him) as he proceeded to try and whack everything out of sight. He managed to hit one straight up (in fairness it was a long way up) to Veteran off Big only for the skipper to ground the chance. However the very next ball he did the exact same thing again but this time Woody was able to take the catch. Big then removed the Outwoods number 5 next ball making a real mess of his stumps and all of a sudden Outwoods had gone from 80 for 2 to 100 for 5 with 18 overs to go and the C2 Unit sensed victory.

Thorpey and Kirbo were both bowled from the RSF End but to no avail and the 2 batsmen in for Outwoods were interesting to say the least. One of them had appeared to have no shots and just enjoyed leaving the ball whereas the other had 2 shots, block it and hoik it over cow corner. Big was soon able to remove the leaver when he bowled him off stump. But the other bloke who was as agricultural as a combine harvester was having some success regularly putting the ball to the boundary. He was assisted on his way by some further dropped catches as both Kirbo and the Tiddly (shocker Gokker) both put him down. He went on to make 50 (not many singles) before he was eventually dismissed when Woody got him caught and bowled. This left the 2s with 7 overs to pick up the final 3 wickets that would clinch the title but Outwoods were determined to bat out the draw. The bowling was mixed around in an attempt to get wickets and the C2 Unit even resorted to Cookys tactic of the week before of just saying I believe, but it didn’t have the same effect for the 2s as it did for Roger and Outwoods were able to close out the draw finishing 169 for 7.

This left the 2s with a nervous wait to see if they had done enough and if Dunton had done them a favour. Treacle feet had been sent to find the result and Woody rang both the Mountsorrel skipper as well as representatives from Dunton but no answer. Unable to take the tension some of the C2 Unit went for a shower and when they heard a cheer come up from the dressing rooms all very sheepishly looked at each other wondering if the news was in (it wasn’t). With everyone back in the changing room Ken finally got the call from Dave and after a lifetime of chit-chat passed the phone to Woody. Veteran promptly erupted at the news that Dunton had won and the 2s were Division 7 champions. This sparked wild scenes outside the dressing rooms as the champagne (it said Brut on it and in fairness it did taste like the stuff Henry Cooper used to advertise) flowed and the singing commenced.

The celebrations continued at the Bulls Head for Ken’s farewell party. On behalf of all the 2nd XI I would just like to say thank you to Ken for all his help this year and for the past couple of years. Ken has been a member of Cosby Cricket club for over 50 years and will be sorely missed by everyone at the club. All the best for your life in Canada Ken, stay in touch with us and we’ll try our best to win Division 6 next year. He’d just better bloody go this time!

Champions!

Result: Winning Draw

Points: Cosby 17 points, Loughborough Outwoods 6 points

Quotes of the day: Gary Whetton is watching the air show, the first plane looked a bit rickety:
Gaz Whetton: No wonder so many got shot down!

The Vulcan had just completed it’s mock bombing run, including massive smoke bomb:
Frank: How do you reckon it managed to drop the bomb then?
Vice & Billso: You what?
Frank: Well it must have dropped it you can see the bombs on it.
Later on an ambulance and fire engine go by:
Billso: Looks like you were right Frank
Frank: You didn’t think it was real did you?

During the post match celebrations Woody has Champagne poured over him:
Nikki Wood: Do you want me to lick Champagne off your head?
Bick: Quick pour some over me!

At Kens farewell party Ben Cox walks in:
Chloe Wood: He looks like Ben Cox.

Later on at the party, don’t know how we got on to Weston-Super Mare:
Chloe Wood: Weston-Super Mare, isn’t that a theme park?

MOM: Good turns with the bat this week from Foxy and Woody who set us on the way to scoring 203. MOM though goes to Phil Needham for his quick fire runs at the end and his four wickets.

Verdict: A solid performance with the bat set the 2s up for the winning draw. Bowling was generally good but let down by some rather shocking catching. Moreover the performance of the 2s this year has been exceptional, the unit have played excellent cricket at times and thoroughly deserve to go up as champions.


Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 5 wickets
0
203		        
Russell Sullivan Caught  26 2
Nigel Meredith Bowled  14
Dave Thorpe Stumped  24
Mark Foxall Bowled  46
Paul Wood Bowled  45 2
Ben Spencer Not Out  2
Curtis Holloway  
Phil Needham Not Out  30 1
Michael Whitehead  
Gary Kirby  
Matthew Bills  

Loughborough Outwoods II Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Loughborough Outwoods II Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 7 wickets
0
169 (0.0 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Cosby Cricket Club 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Michael Whitehead6.0211111.001.83
Ben Spencer5.011400.002.80
Curtis Holloway6.0223123.003.83
Matthew Bills3.001600.005.33
Phil Needham13.023448.502.62
Paul Wood5.0024124.004.80
Dave Thorpe4.022200.005.50
Gary Kirby3.002300.007.67

  • Umpire :
    Ken Needham
  • Scorer :
    Simon Cooper